Social Work Corner – Nine Strategies for Engaging Tender Age Unaccompanied Children and Youth – September 2025

/ Social Work, Social Work Corner, Working with Children
Nine Strategies for Engaging Tender Age Unaccompanied Children and Youth

This month of September, CILA would like to share nine strategies for engaging tender age unaccompanied children and adolescent youth. While you may be familiar and practice some of these strategies already, we hope this blog provides you with more ideas for building rapport, gathering information, and supporting resilience in a developmentally appropriate, trauma-informed way. These strategies are designed to add to your existing toolbox.

Tender Age Unaccompanied Children

Tender age children generally refers to children under the age of 13 years old. When working with this group it’s important to keep in mind the different stages of development (infant, toddler, early childhood, early school age) within this age range, as well as the physical, cognitive, language, social, and emotional domains of development that shape a child’s growth and experiences. Be intentional about using strategies for engagement that are developmentally appropriate and culturally responsive to honor each child’s unique background, identity and lived experiences.

Nine Strategies to Engage Tender Age Unaccompanied Children

  • Name and Validate Emotions - Naming emotions helps tender age children recognize, understand and communicate their internal feelings through displayed non-verbal facial expressions, body language, or behavior. Validating an emotion is acknowledging the child’s feelings to let them know their feelings/emotions are seen, are important, and that they matter. To validate an emotion, you can use a statement like, “I see/hear you are feeling scared, nervous (name the emotion) about going to court. That makes sense, as court can feel like a big and unknown place (validating the emotion by normalizing the feeling). Remember that I’ll be there with you to help explain what is happening, and today as we get ready, I can answer any questions you have.”
  • Use Simple and Concrete Language - Most tender age children do not understand figurative language yet; therefore, simple and concrete language and examples are best during these early stages of development. Speak in short, clear sentences and avoid abstract concepts. Abstract language or legal jargon can overwhelm and confuse tender age children. You can use simple sentences in conversation, visual aids and props, and repeat information as needed. For example, asking, “What chores did you do at your house?” can be asked in a simpler way. Instead, you might say, “Did you help take care of your house by cleaning?” or “Did you help outside, working in the yard?”
  • Create Consistency in Sessions –You can develop a flow to your meetings that makes them feel predictable. You can be sure to thank them for meeting with you, let them know you are happy to have time with them, and review the topics of conversation you would like to discuss with them before asking all the questions. It can be helpful to indicate how long meetings will be using concepts of time the child can understand (one or two episodes of their favorite show), let children know they can ask for breaks, drink water, and have a snack if they need to. You can also provide a routine for closing out your time together. For example, you can have a question you ask at the end like, “What was the best thing you ate this week?” They can share, and you can as well. Consistency in areas of their life builds safety for children who have experienced instability.
  • Incorporate Play and Art - Play is a learning tool! At these early stages of development children are inclined to want to play and have fun through play. Play is crucial for all developmental domains. Use visuals, such as drawing, coloring, puppets, blocks, legos, board games, balls, and play-based activities to help children express their feelings and emotions. Play can facilitate a child’s willingness and ability to share their experiences and life stories. One helpful tool in this regard is mobility mapping. Learn more about mobility mapping in this CILA resource, Tips for working with Migrant Children and Trauma-Informed Lawyering. If you don’t have a CILA account, the link will direct you to create a free CILA account to access this resource.
  • Give Choices and Build Agency – You can offer small, controlled choices to build a child’s agency. For example, “Would you like to draw, or play a game?” “Would you like to take a three-minute, or five-minute break?” Would you like to sit on this chair or that chair?” By giving choices to unaccompanied children, you build their agency and self-efficacy and promote their social-emotional growth.
  • Learn a Child’s Learning Modality (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) - All children have different learning styles. You can use different techniques that target all learning styles at the beginning of your interactions with tender age children by observing or asking them how they feel they understand ideas the best. Try out drawing pictures (visual), offering stories, (auditory), or engaging in a physical activity (movement- kinesthetic). The child may be able to tell you their preferences, or you can observe their reactions and note how they process information best.
  • Model Calm and Reassurance - Children are highly attuned to adult tone and body language. If you are in a hurry, tired, or distracted, they will recognize that. As you run from meeting to meeting, it can be helpful to pause, regroup, and do some deep breathing so that you are centered and ready to meet with a child. During the meeting, sit at their level if possible, so you are not looking down at them. In addition, offering calm and positive signals of care can help a child regulate their own nervous system and feel that they are in a safe place with an adult that cares. Signals of care communicate warmth, empathy, and safety. To communicate warmth, you can say, “Were you able to find my office, okay? How was traffic?” To communicate empathy, you can say, “It’s not okay that they hurt you. You deserve to be safe and not worry about someone harming you. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about this when I can see that it is hard to talk about.” To communicate safety, you can say, “This is a space where you can feel safe and where you can let me know if something is bothering you. If you need a break, we will take a break. If you are hungry, we can get you a snack. If you need to move around, you can."
  • Allow Movement and Sensory Input - Tender age children may need to move their bodies or hold an object with their hands to stay engaged. Give space during the meetings for breaks involving physical movement or allow the child to have blocks or play items (fidgets) they can use with their hands. This helps support self-regulation and can reduce feelings of overwhelm.
  • End with Safety and Comfort - Close interactions with reassurance, or a positive affirmation. This will help reinforce security and trust in your rapport building with the child.

Adolescent Unaccompanied Youth

The adolescent stage can be divided into early adolescence, late adolescence, and young adulthood, generally refers to youth ages 13–18-year-olds, with young adulthood including 18–22-year-olds. Developmentally, youth are undergoing a lot of physical and hormonal changes that influence all the developmental domains. As children mature, they do learn to self-regulate their emotions and reactions, but many require understanding and support as the changes are happening constantly during this stage of development. Youth are forming their self-identity, and peer relationships are very important and can influence their actions and behavior.

Nine Strategies to Engage Adolescent Unaccompanied Youth

  1. Build Trust through Rapport - Show genuine interest in learning about their lives, their strengths, and goals. Take time to get to know youth as individuals, asking rapport building questions like, “What is your favorite sport/artist/music genre? What was your favorite thing to do back home?”
  2. Respect their Autonomy and Voice - Adolescents need to feel their voice and opinions matter and are important. Work with them, verbalize they are important, ensure their meaningful participation in decisions about their meetings and case. Offer autonomy on small and big questions like, “Would you like to meet on Tuesday or Thursday?” and “Do you feel comfortable with me contacting your cousin to provide a declaration about what happened? ”Your efforts to ensure their autonomy are not only vital to honoring their express wishes but can build trust and make them feel valued.
  3. Acknowledge Trauma minimizing Re-traumatization - Give adolescents space to share at their own pace, acknowledging the trauma experienced and holding space for the complex feelings of their experience (pain, suffering, difficulty, violence, abuse) while recognizing their resilience. If you notice it is too painful for an adolescent to tell their story, explain why it’s important for you to ask those questions to minimize re-traumatization, and go at the youth’s pace. They may not be ready to tell you everything at once, or ever.
  4. Be Honest and Transparent - Clearly explain the process, timelines, and your role to the youth. Youth whose trust has been broken by adults who were supposed to care for them value truthfulness but may find it hard to trust others. Through transparency and consistency, you can prove that you are a trustworthy adult, though it will take time.
  5. Use Strengths-Based Language - Highlight a youth’s skills, strengths, and courage. Do not focus just on their trauma and challenges. Youth appreciate recognition of what they are doing well or what they are good in. A statement like, “You explain information, your story very well, thank you for sharing with me about you.”
  6. Create a Safe, Nonjudgemental Space - Adolescents may be afraid of judgment for their experiences, choices, or coping behaviors. Vocalize that they can talk to you, that where you are meeting is safe, and be transparent in your ethical responsibilities concerning disclosures. Be mindful of your body language and facial expressions and try to contain your reactions to their stories of trauma. If you appear shocked or disgusted by what happened to them, that can feel like judgment on them. You can acknowledge that what they experienced was difficult and how strong they are in sharing something so difficult with you. Provide acceptance to build a trusting relationship with the youth.
  7. Encourage Expression Through Multiple Mediums - Youth express themselves in multiple ways to process complex thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Encourage expression through journaling, music, storytelling, or digital tools.
  8. Support Future Orientation - During the adolescent stage youth want increased autonomy and independence from caregivers. Express interest in learning about their goals and ambitions (education, familial, career, and life goals for example). Hope and planning for the future can serve as a child’s protective factor and builds their inner resilience to reach those set goals. If within capacity, connect them to professionals in schools, community organizations, or social services that can help them embark on these goals.
  9. Promote Healthy Peer and Adult Connections - Help them identify supportive relationships in their lives through their family and community networks to build their social networks. Connections with peers and caring adults combat feelings of loneliness and serve as a protective factor for healthy development too.

CILA hopes these strategies provide you with new ideas to add to your toolkit. For additional helpful resources, see: *Some resources may direct you to create a free CILA account for access*

 By CILA social work team